What Jesus Really Thinks About Messages That Tear People Down

Every now and then, a message becomes so common that people start assuming it must be holy simply because it is repeated. It shows up behind pulpits, on social media, in conversations, in counseling sessions, and even in people’s inner thoughts. It becomes the soundtrack of modern Christianity for far too many hearts. And that message goes something like this: you’re not worthy, you’re a disappointment, you’re nothing, you’re ungrateful, you’re a sinner, and therefore God tolerates you more than He loves you. And some people, good people, wounded people, tired people, hear it so often that they eventually begin to believe it.

But deep inside, there is this quiet feeling that something isn’t right. Something doesn’t match. Something about that message does not align with the Jesus who sat with sinners, touched outcasts, wept for people who didn’t understand Him, and lifted those who had fallen so low they didn’t believe they could ever rise again. And so the mind pushes back with the only question that makes sense: if I could sit down with Jesus Himself, what would He say about all of this? What would He think about Christians who weaponize shame? What would He say to those who preach as if God regrets creating people? What would He say about a message that bruises souls instead of binding them up?

Imagine sitting across from Jesus in that question. The quiet settles. His eyes hold more understanding than the whole world. And before you have the chance to explain why you're confused, discouraged, or exhausted by religious voices that seem more interested in tearing you down than lifting you up, Jesus gently says something that stops every lie in its tracks: I know what you have heard. But I want you to hear My voice above every other voice, because My voice is the only one that heals.

And instantly, you recognize something: Jesus never begins with what is wrong with you. He begins with the dignity He sees in you, the value God placed in you from the beginning, the worth that has nothing to do with your performance and everything to do with your identity. You feel it. You sense it. You hear it not as a lecture but as love. Because Jesus always speaks from love, even when He speaks truth. Especially when He speaks truth.

That’s the first thing people miss about the harsh messages floating around in today’s Christian spaces. They sound religious, but they don’t sound like Jesus. They carry the vocabulary of Scripture, but not the heart of the Savior. They speak of sin but forget compassion. They shout about repentance but forget restoration. They talk about unworthiness as though declaring yourself trash is somehow the doorway into God’s presence. And in the process, they confuse humility with humiliation. They confuse honesty with hostility. They confuse conviction with condemnation.

But humility is recognizing your need for God, not hating yourself in hopes that God will someday love you. Jesus never asked people to degrade themselves. In fact, every time someone came to Him in the Gospels, He treated them with more honor than religion ever had. He spoke to their potential before He addressed their past. He spoke to their calling before He touched their mistakes. He revealed their worth before He instructed their walk.

Take the woman caught in adultery. Religion dragged her into the dirt. Jesus stooped beside her, shielding her from stones that were justified by the law but denied by His love. Religion said she deserved judgment. Jesus said she deserved mercy. Religion wanted to make an example out of her. Jesus wanted to make a daughter out of her. And notice the order: He told her that He did not condemn her before He told her to sin no more. Grace first, direction second. Restoration before correction. Identity before behavior. Jesus understood that people rise when they are loved, not when they are crushed.

Or look at Zacchaeus. The people around him had labeled him a thief, a cheat, a traitor, a man who deserved rejection. Jesus walked right up to that tree and said something that stunned the crowd: come down, I’m eating with you today. Before Zacchaeus changed anything, before he gave back money, before he restored anything he had stolen, Jesus called him a son of Abraham. He gave him identity before transformation. And once Zacchaeus understood who he was, he began becoming who he was meant to be.

Or think about the bleeding woman. The world called her unclean. Jesus called her daughter. The Pharisees saw contamination. Jesus saw faith. The crowd saw a problem. Jesus saw a person. And when she reached out to Him, trembling and afraid of being exposed, Jesus didn’t shame her for breaking ceremonial law. He praised her courage. He affirmed her dignity. He restored her place in the community.

Every single time you encounter Jesus in Scripture, you see the same pattern. He lifts people up before He speaks into their lives. He heals before He directs. He dignifies before He disciples. His tone is gentle. His hands are steady. His words are restorative. His heart is fiercely protective of those who have been wounded by religion, judgment, or shame.

That’s why the message you hear today that says “you are worthless” is not the Gospel. It never was. If you were worthless, Heaven would not have emptied itself for you. The price God paid for you determines your value, and God paid the highest price imaginable. The cross is not a symbol of your unworthiness. It is a symbol of your worth. It is the clearest declaration that you matter to God far more than you understand. And no sermon, no preacher, no Christian influencer, and no religious voice has the authority to contradict the value God has placed upon you.

Now, does Jesus talk about sin? Absolutely. But He talks about sin the way a doctor talks about disease—with compassion, with clarity, and with a desire to heal, not with disgust, condescension, or cruelty. A doctor doesn’t shame you for being sick. A doctor diagnoses you so you can be healed. Jesus doesn’t point out sin to belittle you. He points it out to free you. He wants you whole. He wants you restored. He wants you living in the fullness you were created for. But He will never weaponize truth to injure your soul. That is not His heart.

So why are so many Christians okay with a harsh, negative, condemning message? Sometimes it is because they were raised on fear-based religion, and they have never known anything else. Sometimes it is because they believe yelling truth is the same thing as living truth. Sometimes it is because shame works quickly—it produces immediate behavior change—but it never produces long-term transformation. Sometimes it is because insecurity is hiding behind the pulpit, and the only way some people feel strong is by making others feel small.

But here is the truth Jesus would speak into all of that: if your message makes people feel hated by God, you are not preaching Jesus. Jesus is the good shepherd, not the loud critic. Jesus is the great physician, not the spiritual accuser. Jesus is the redeemer, not the condemner. And the world will not recognize Him when Christians speak in a voice that sounds nothing like His.

So what would Jesus say to you, the one who has been beaten down by religious messages that tear at your identity? He would say, “You were worth coming for. You were worth dying for. You are worth loving today.” He would say, “Your value does not come from your perfection. Your value comes from My affection.” He would say, “You are not defined by your mistakes. You are defined by My sacrifice. You are not measured by your failures. You are measured by My grace.”

And if you ever wonder whether God is disappointed in you, remember this: Jesus did not come to condemn the world. He came to save it. He came to seek and save the lost. He came to heal the brokenhearted. He came to bind up wounds, not deepen them. He came to call you out of shame, not bury you in it. He came to restore your identity, not erase it. And He came to make sure you know, once and for all, that you belong to Him.

If you have ever walked out of a church feeling smaller instead of seen, loved, and lifted, hear this: that voice was not God’s voice. That tone was not Jesus’ tone. That weight was not the burden Jesus gives. His burden is light. His yoke is easy. His heart is gentle. His presence is safe. And His love is steadfast. He does not crush bruised reeds or snuff out smoldering wicks. He restores, revives, and rebuilds.

So lift your head. Straighten your shoulders. Refuse to let any preacher, any post, any self-righteous critic, or any religious voice tell you that you suck. You don’t. You matter. You were created intentionally. You are pursued passionately. And Jesus is not ashamed of you. He is proud to call you His.

You have a Savior who sees your worth even when the world does not. A Savior who calls you by name. A Savior who stepped into this world, endured the cross, rose again, and still whispers into your heart today: You are Mine. And I am not done with you. Douglas Vandergraph

Watch Douglas Vandergraph’s inspiring faith-based videos on YouTubehttps://www.youtube.com/@douglasvandergraph

Support the ministry by buying Douglas a coffee here: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/douglasvandergraph